The "Waiting for Region Handshake" message occurs when the Second Life Viewer does not receive an acknowledgement from the server. The usual cause of this error is a firewall blocking UDP packets. Reconfigure your firewall to resolve this problem
Many viewers with grid selectors will show a link to that grid's signup page when selecting a grid. You can create your account by clicking that link, and following the instructions on the signup page.
If you are being logged out when you edit appearance, or edit shape, or use the Appearance toolbar button, did you drop items into the Outfits folder that were not created via the Outfits/Appearance window? If so, remove those items.
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There are a number of reasons one cannot log in or stay logged into Second Life. One of the more significant reasons is a poor connection. You may have a good Internet connection and a bad connection to SL. A poor connection can be caused by